She Doesn’t Text Me Like She Used To [7 Possible Causes]
She doesn’t text me like she used to…
What does it mean?
What should I do if a girl I’ve recently met or my girlfriend doesn’t text me like she used to?
You’ve been texting a girl and lately she’s been less invested in your text conversation?
It can mean several things (positive or negative).
And that’s precisely what we’re going to see in this post.
Once we review the possible causes for her sudden lack of investment, we’ll move on to the mistakes you should avoid if you don’t want to drive her further away.
As well as what you should do to make her text you as she used to.
Let’s dive in.
Table of Contents
Why is she texting me less?
Here are the most common (and not mutually exclusive) causes of the decrease in the amount of texts a girl send:
? She has a technical problem
This is not the most common cause of this list, but it shouldn’t be excluded.
If a girl momentarily sends you fewer texts than before, it may simply be due to a technical problem.
- She’s out of battery
- She’s currently located in an area where there’s no (or little) network
- She lost her phone
- Etc.
These small technical issues can sometimes explain a woman’s sudden apparent lack of investment in a text conversation.
This is often temporary.
? She’s busy
If this girl is suddenly overwhelmed (for instance if she has exams to prepare, a busy week at work, family issues…), she’ll naturally have less time to text you.
Read: She Stopped Texting Me
Again, it’s often temporary (unless you make the mistakes we’ll see below).
? She is (very) solicited
If she’s a very solicited woman, your messages may be drowned in the mass of messages she gets from other guys.
Other men are fighting for her attention (which is also monopolized by the influencers she follows on social media, by YouTube, by her Netflix series…) and there’s only a small fraction of it left for you (if at all).
? You screwed up somewhere in the text conversation
During your text conversation with her, you made mistakes that turned her off.
Maybe you’ve acted too invested, too interested in her (perhaps without even realizing it)… which made her see you as a needy guy.
You’ve sent her too many messages, sometimes large blocks of text. You were answering her texts almost immediately. You used too many smiley faces or punctuation marks (“!!!”, “?!”, “???”, and so on), and thus sounding way too enthusiastic.
This caused her to see you as a guy who is totally into her.
Related: How To Tease Your Girlfriend Over Text
For her, there’s no more mystery about your feelings for her and your intentions with her. It’s in the bag.
There’s no better way to kill desire.
You may also have made the mistake of apologizing flatly after a joke or slightly risqué remark on your part. Or worse: trying to make up for it in any way you can.
Again, this makes you look like a guy in need, far too concerned about what that woman thinks of him.
It makes you sound submissive, and as a result the girl naturally loses interest in you.
See also: What To Do When She Doesn’t Text Back
? You screwed up on the date
If you had a date with that girl and she started texting you less after it, you probably screwed up on that date.
You’ve disappointed her with an unattractive attitude, or made some mistakes that turned her off or scared her away.
You’re not the man she imagined you to be.
Or you didn’t meet her expectations.
So she distances herself from you.
See also: 9 Signs She Doesn’t Like You
? She met another guy
This woman may have met another man, who is now hogging all her attention.
You got sidelined.
Most of her texts now go to someone else.
Related: Signs Your Girlfriend Wants To Break Up
? She thinks you’re not interested
This is far from being the most common cause. But I couldn’t not mention it. Because in this case, what you must do to get her to text you like she used to is the opposite of what I recommend you do for the causes listed above.
This girl may very well be interested, but you’ve neglected her, by hardly ever sending her messages, or by systematically taking too long to answer her.
She’s tired of doing all the talking, she’s fed up that she’s always the one taking the initiative. So, she distances herself to force you to get more involved.
In this case, all you have to do is give her a little more attention – send her a few more messages, respond a little faster, move things forward by asking her out…
What you must not do when a girl starts texting you less
Now that we’ve gone through the most common causes of a decrease in the amount of texts a woman sends you, let’s see the mistakes you must avoid in this situation.
❌ Send her more messages
Unless her sudden loss of interest in you is due to a lack of investment on your part, you must at all costs avoid acting even more invested in your conversation with her.
Never act clingy with a girl you want. Especially if she’s distancing herself.
If she’s pulling away, it may be because she needs more space. If you act clingy, you’ll make her want to pull away even more.
Plus, if she feels that she can make you panic just by giving you less attention, she’ll see you as a weak guy she can easily destabilize (which is anything but attractive).
So don’t fall into the trap of starting texting her more in the hope of getting her attention back (the opposite will happen).
❌ Call her
It’s the worst thing to do if her sudden distancing is due to a drop in interest in you.
Indeed, if she has lost her desire for you, it’s probably because you gave her too much attention.
This excess of attention has killed the mystery in your relationship (the mystery about your feelings for her or about your intentions with her).
She’s started seeing you as all over her. And therefore cease to desire you.
By calling her you’re just giving her even more attention.
Even worse: you disturb her, you suffocate her.
A call is intrusive.
It’ll only irritate her and make her see you as a guy who lacks social intelligence (and who has nothing better to do in his life than to call her).
❌ Nervously questioning her
“Why are you texting me less than before?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Aren’t you interested in me anymore?”
By questioning a woman in this way about her distancing, you lead her to see you as an insecure guy in need of affection.
There’s no better way to drive her further away from you (except the mistake below).
❌ Begging for her attention
“Please text me more…”
“Please answer me…”
“I’ve been waiting for your text all day, please give me more attention…”
Send him those kind of text messages and it’s game over.
She’ll see you as a beggar, in need of affection, and will run away.
Instead, do this.
What should I do if she doesn’t text me like she used to?
Well…
Now that you know what you must not do, let’s see what you should do to rekindle her interest in you.
✅ Take longer to respond
Or don’t respond at all for a few days.
This is the easiest way to get a girl to want to text you more (unless her distancing is due to a lack of investment on your part, in which case it’s the opposite that you must do).
If this woman has lost her desire for you because of an excess of attention on your part, distancing yourself in this way will intrigue her.
“It’s strange, he answers less quickly than before, has he lost interest in me?”
“He seems less engaged, has he me another woman?”
Gradually, she’ll see you again as a challenge, as a man to conquer…and will naturally start to engage more in the conversation.
See also: Texts To Make Her Think About You
✅ Show less excitement
If you’ve made the mistake of being overly enthusiastic in your texts (especially by abusing smiley faces or exclamation points), it may be enough to just make your texts more neutral.
Limit the use of punctuation and smiley. Not only you’ll sound more solid, but you’ll also sound more intriguing.
✅ Send her shorter texts
The longer your messages, the more invested in the conversation you’ll seem (and the more invested you’ll actually be).
Conversely, the shorter your messages, the more detached you’ll sound.
If you send her large blocks of text, it’s no surprise that she perceives you as a guy who is totally into her.
Are your texts longer than hers?
If that’s the case, it could be the reason why she started seeing you as needy.
Reduce the length of your texts, and you’ll look much less desperate.
You can also occasionally send her very short answers to her messages (for instance a simple “No” or “Okay” or “No idea”) without trying to get the conversation going.
It’ll contrast with all those needy guys constantly trying to get her attention, asking her question after question or always filling the gasps in an attempt to get the conversation going.
This apparent detachment on your part will naturally make her want to engage again. She’ll want to win you back.
✅ Increase your attractiveness
To reawaken this girl’s desire for you, you can also take action outside of your text conversation with her.
For instance, by making sure she sees you in the company of other women (whether in real life, or on social media).
It’ll make her feel like she’s not your only option, and that there’s some demand for you.
Not only will it make you more desirable in her eyes, but it will also make her experience fear of loss.
Enough to entice her to be a little more active in your exchanges, for fear of losing you permanently.
You must make her feel like she’s potentially missing out on something.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Let’s now answer some common questions I get from my readers on today’s topic.
➡️ How to tell if a girl likes you over text?
There are various signs you can spot in a text conversation with a girl that indicate she likes you.
Both in her texts themselves and in the context surrounding the exchange.
Read: 11 Signs She Likes You Over Text
➡️ Why does she never text first?
There may be several reasons why a woman never texts first:
Some women are more passive than others. They’ll wait for you to take the first step, systematically.
Others are shy, and are afraid to take initiative.
It could also be a woman who isn’t interested in you enough to write you.
My advice: don’t make a big deal of her lack of initiative.
Focus on what’s going on in real life, when you see her in person. And take action at that moment to seal the deal.
➡️ Do I have to wait for her to text me to start texting her again?
It’s better to wait at first.
Give her the opportunity to send you a message, by giving her enough time.
If after a week (or more, depending on the situation) she hasn’t texted you, you can contact her again.
But not in any way.
It’s important that your text doesn’t make you sound like a guy in need, desperately trying to create a connection with her.
You must sound a bit detached.
And spontaneous.
For this, you must have a reason other than your interest in her to contact her again.
It could be something you just saw that made you think of her, a request from a friend for which her possible skills or knowledge can help, a service…
Or other methods a little limited (but ethical and particularly effective) that I share in my private emails.
Related: Should I Text Her First?
[MUST-READ] Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You
If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this other extensive post I recently published:
There’s something you need to understand:
Women want to be submissive.
They fantasize about sexual submission.
And when they meet a dominant man who has the potential to satisfy their submission fantasies, it makes them desire him intensely.
Sounds shocking or surprising to you?
Keep reading…
Today, you’re going to learn how to master women in a way that will turn them on.
You’re going to learn how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.
And NOT just in bed:
You’re going to implement this in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, and more.
You’re going to implement this in your everyday life with the women you like so that they see you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy their desires and take them to seventh heaven.
These actions you’re going to implement daily with the girls you want will lead them to see you as THE man to date.
You’ll stand out.
Women will see you as a potential lover and as a good lay (and that’s a bit of an understatement).
However, there are things you need to understand first.
You’ve got to be ready to try certain things that are a bit bold (more or less depending on the girl and the situation).
It's all there:
Stay solid,
Jack
