My Wife Doesn’t Love Me Anymore: What Should I Do? [2 Options]
My wife doesn’t love me anymore, what can I do?
Is it already too late to save our marriage?
Whether you’re still with your wife or she’s already left you, it’s important to determine the cause of her loss of feelings for you.
Once the cause is clarified, you’ll be able to choose the best strategy to make her fall in love again.
And that’s precisely what we’re going to see in this article.
But first, you need to make sure that her loss of feelings is real. And that’s exactly what we’re going to start with.
Let’s dive in.
Table of Contents
7 signs your wife doesn’t love you anymore
Let’s go over a few signs that shows your wife no longer has feelings for you:
1. She’s no longer invested in the relationship
This sign is not to be taken lightly.
If your spouse stopped craving for your attention, it may be that she doesn’t need it anymore.
When a woman demands your attention, it means she needs your validation.
A woman in love with you needs you to look at her, tell her how beautiful she is, touch her, and so on.
If you deliberately ignore her and it makes her neither hot nor cold, you can take it as a sign that she has lost her love for you (or that it’s not as strong as before).
2. She doesn’t feel like having sex as much as she used to
Your spouse seems to have a low sex drive.
You touch her, you caress her, but she tells you that she doesn’t feel like having sex, that she’s tired.
You insist a little but you get the same answer.
If it’s just once, no need to worry. But if it happens again and again it should make you wonder about her feelings and desire for you.
3. She’s not the same in bed
Your sexual encounters are not the same anymore.
Your wife seems elsewhere during sex.
She’s not as horny as she used to be.
She’s not as active as she used to be.
She refuses to do certain things (certain sexual practices, certain positions…) that she used to do willingly.
4. She doesn’t touch you anymore
“My wife never touches me anymore”
Your wife is less cuddly.
She doesn’t run her hand through your hair as usual.
She doesn’t give you as many kisses as she used to.
She doesn’t snuggle up to you anymore.
At night, there is a certain distance between you.
If you notice a significant change in the amount of hugs or caresses she gives you, perhaps her interest and attraction to you has waned.
5. She doesn’t talk about your joint plans anymore
Your spouse used to talk about your projects (house, vacations, family meetings, trips…).
She suddenly doesn’t talk about them anymore.
She doesn’t get excited like she used to when thinking about the future.
She seems to be talking more about her personal future rather than yours.
6. She’s cold
Your partner has become unusually cold with you.
She doesn’t touch you anymore, she no longer says ‘I love you’, she no longer snuggles up to you, she no longer takes interest in you, she gives you short and dry answers…
You feel that a certain distance has set in between you.
If she’s always been like this, there may be nothing to worry about. However, if it’s not like her, something is definitely wrong.
Either she’s pouting after an argument (in which case she may not intend to leave you and is just giving you the cold shoulder temporarily), or she’s distancing herself because she doesn’t feel anything for you anymore.
7. You feel like a ghost to her
You used to be the center of her attention. She only had eyes for you.
Now, it is as if you no longer exist for her.
You feel as if you’ve become the invisible man.
She doesn’t look at you anymore.
She hardly speaks to you (only when necessary).
She doesn’t listen to you as she used to.
So much for the most common signs your wife no longer loves you.
If you spot any of these (or several at once), then your spouse may no longer be in love with you.
Why doesn’t my wife love me anymore?
Before taking any step to save your marriage, you must first understand as accurately as possible where this loss of feelings may come from…
Let’s start with the first major cause of loss of interest in a couple:
Cause 1: Boredom
Over the years, you’ve fallen into a routine.
You’ve taken your wife for granted.
Consciously or unconsciously, you’ve told yourself that you no longer need to seduce her.
You may even have come to treat her as just a friend (or a good buddy).
You’ve abandoned the traits she found attractive in the first place.
You stopped behaving in a charming and exciting way with her.
As a result, you stopped being attractive to her.
You stopped making her feel exciting emotions.
She therefore gradually stopped feeling anything for you.
You’ve ceased to be a challenge to her.
There’s no mystery anymore.
No more suspense.
No more tension.
It may even have led her to seek excitement elsewhere, or to want to divorce you.
Cause 2: Emotional over-investment on your part
You’ve shown yourself to be far too attached.
Way more than she did.
And she felt it.
She was the one who had the emotional upper hand.
And you felt that you loved her more than she loved you.
The trap in which many husbands fall in this situation is showing themselves affected by her apparent lack of feelings.
The more she sees that you’re affected, the less attracted she’ll be (because the less of a challenge you’ll be to her).
She’ll take you for granted.
She’ll then become less and less attracted to you…and you’ll feel it.
This will affect you even more…and make you even more nervous.
And it goes on…
It’s a vicious circle.
A negative spiral that will cause you to make even more mistakes.
Like for instance:
- acting paranoid (and making her feel it)
- becoming jealous,
- getting angry and having more and more trouble controlling yourself…
Which will drive her further away from you.
Another major cause of a loss of interest in a woman (which often stems from the emotional over-investment we just talked about) is…
Cause 3: Trying to please her at all costs
For instance, letting her decide everything in the hope that she’ll like you more.
Or agreeing with her on everything (even when you don’t) for fear of losing her.
Big mistake.
Letting her take over in this way immediately makes you much less attractive.
She no longer sees you as a strong, assertive man, but as a weak, submissive guy, in need of affection and seeking approval.
That’s the opposite of what you need to do to keep her attracted (and therefore in love).
It’s better to keep the upper hand even if it means displeasing her (and having her pout for a few days) than to flatten yourself to avoid a conflict.
The second option may be more appealing in the short term, but is a catastrophic choice in the long term. Because it will make her lose respect for you, even despise you.
So much the main causes why your wife doesn’t have feelings for you anymore.
There may be other causes—similar or not to those mentioned above—which you can remedy by using one of the strategies below.
What to do when your wife doesn’t love you anymore
Now that we’ve reviewed the major causes why you wife doesn’t love you, let’s see what you can do to turn things around.
There are two main scenarios to distinguish here:
- My wife doesn’t love me but wants to stay married
- My wife doesn’t love me and wants to leave me
For each of these scenarios, different strategies are possible, depending on the cause why she lost her feelings.
Let’s start with the first case scenario:
Scenario 1: My wife doesn’t love me but wants to stay married
You’re in better position than in the second case scenario.
But that doesn’t mean that your spouse won’t leave you in the future.
If your wife doesn’t leave you now, it may simply be because staying with you is more comfortable.
If she meets someone who offers a higher standard of living[1] or equivalent, chances are she’ll leave you then.
It’s just that you have (for now) more leeway than if she wanted to leave you (or had already left you).
This gives you more time to rekindle the flame.
Let’s get to the heart of the matter by seeing what to do about the different causes seen above.
? If you’ve fallen into a routine (cause 1):
You’ll have to… break the routine.
You’ll have to surprise your spouse again.
For instance by making her feel sexually desired (but without coming across as needy or desperate, as we’ll see a bit below): compliments, caresses, little attentions (most women love surprises)…
Or by being intellectually stimulating: tease her, play with her…
Or by doing unusual stuff: couple activities, excursions, walks, trips…
Make it a habit to surprise her regularly (without overdoing it either).
? If you’ve shown yourself to be too attached (cause 2):
If you’ve shown yourself to be too emotionally invested, your wife probably sees you as a needy man.
As a man who lacks options.
As a man of low status.
Which is not very attractive.
The good news is, it can be easy to remedy.
All you need to do is appear less attached, less clingy, less intrusive.
In other words, more detached.
Almost as if you don’t care about her feelings for you.
What will happen then is that she’ll start questioning herself.
She’ll wonder why you’re not as attached as you used to be, why you seem less interested…
And so, she’ll start having some doubts.
She may even wonder if you’ve met another woman.
And little by little, the balance of power will be reversed.
You’ll become a challenge for her again.
You’ll be surrounded by an aura of mystery again.
? If you’ve been passive and submissive (cause 3):
You’ll have to become active again.
You’ll have to be the man again and take the lead.
You must be the one in charge.
If you don’t assume the role of the man, the attraction she feels for you will decrease drastically.
From now on, be the one to decide.
Be the one to take initiative.
You’ll notice that your wife will look at you differently. And that little by little she’ll feel something for you again.
Related: What Women Want In A Man
Whatever the case:
Whatever the cause of this loss of romantic feelings, it can be fixed (at least in most cases).
BUT (and this is probably one of the most important things to remember from this article), you must never look desperate.
You must never look like you’re struggling to win back your wife.
Because if you look like you’re struggling to win her back, you’ll come across as needy…which will just drive her further away.
Implement these strategies selflessly, unconditionally, without any expectation.
Scenario 2: My wife doesn’t want to be married anymore
In the case where your wife doesn’t love you anymore and wants to divorce you, the separation process is already engaged.
But it doesn’t mean that she’ll go through with it.
She says she wants to divorce you. Alright.
But depending on her personality, she may very well be saying this in an attempt to make you change.
Like an electric shock to resuscitate you.
The strategies to use here are the same as those described above.
There’s just one additional important piece of advice that I must give you:
? Do not try to convince her not to leave you.
Don’t try to talk her out of it with logical, rational arguments.
It won’t work.
We’re talking about love here, something irrational.
She’s not making a rational choice to love you or not.
It’s her emotions that speak.
By trying desperately to convince her not to leave you, you’re only making the situation worse.
You can raise some arguments, but in a calm manner and without sounding like you’re expecting something.
Never, ever, beg her not to leave you.
? Just implement the strategies discussed above without worrying about what she says to you.
That’s how you’ll play on her emotions…and bring back her feelings.
Related: How To Know If She’s Into You
[MUST-READ] Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You
If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this other extensive post I recently published:
There’s something you need to understand:
Women want to be submissive.
They fantasize about sexual submission.
And when they meet a dominant man who has the potential to satisfy their submission fantasies, it makes them desire him intensely.
Sounds shocking or surprising to you?
Keep reading…
Today, you’re going to learn how to master women in a way that will turn them on.
You’re going to learn how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.
And NOT just in bed:
You’re going to implement this in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, and more.
You’re going to implement this in your everyday life with the women you like so that they see you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy their desires and take them to seventh heaven.
These actions you’re going to implement daily with the girls you want will lead them to see you as THE man to date.
You’ll stand out.
Women will see you as a potential lover and as a good lay (and that’s a bit of an understatement).
However, there are things you need to understand first.
You’ve got to be ready to try certain things that are a bit bold (more or less depending on the girl and the situation).
It's all there:
Stay solid,
Jack
